Could you be Morrissey's friend?

[SvartaSjael]

Well yes, isn't that rather impossible to tell?..

He does seem to sit on his high horse, so that would be a huge problem, because I'm very direct and honest and I've never kissed anyone's ass. I'm not good at the friendship thing in general, I start ignoring people for the plain reason of them not knowing Wilde, for example. I lose interest really quickly and I don't feel obliged to keep in touch when I don't feel the personal need to do so; this turns most contemporaries off because they're used to having friends who constantly crawl up their arse and show fake-interest in things they actually don't give a flying toss about.
I expect people to enthrall me and if they don't, they're history soon. From my current point of view I adore Mr Morrissey to an insane extent, but if we turned out unable to have more than the occasional small talk for example, I wouldn't bother any longer than I really want to. I also have no respect for meat-eaters, but I guess this wouldn't really be the problem after all.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'd just be honest with him and hope that was enough. I think he'd dig me. We have some things in common.

 

[Not Right in the Head]

I'd just be honest with him and hope that was enough. I think he'd dig me.

I was sooo expecting your answer to this question to mention duct tape. Or chloroform.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I was sooo expecting your answer to this question to mention duct tape. Or chloroform.

You mean force that bitch to be my friend?

 

[mell]

I was sooo expecting your answer to this question to mention duct tape. Or chloroform.

I have some chloroform right here. *starts scheming*

 

[Evil Legal Eagle]

Do tell.

...of course, I'm only joking!

Met him once in 1985 and have shaken his hand at gigs since then, but I really do believe that we would get on very well!

 

[Not Right in the Head]

You mean force that bitch to be my friend?

I have some chloroform right here. *starts scheming*

Hey, Morrissey, after everyone else has been thrown in jail or covered by restraining orders, can I be your friend?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Hey, Morrissey, after everyone else has been thrown in jail or covered by restraining orders, can I be your friend?

I hasten to add the duct tape and chloroform was your idea. I had to look it up before answering I'm so naive to proper stalker etiquette.

I think Morrissey should have a herd of surfers on staff to beat up his stalkers.

 

[iamkali62]

It's a subject I avoid. The topic is simply much too personal for me to discuss.

 

[Worm]

...of course, I'm only joking!

Met him once in 1985 and have shaken his hand at gigs since then, but I really do believe that we would get on very well!

Lucky you! And unlucky us-- I was half hoping you were one of Morrissey's lawyers and could explain the Joyce case once and for all.

 

[mell]

Hey, Morrissey, after everyone else has been thrown in jail or covered by restraining orders, can I be your friend?

Spoiler

Spoiler

just kidding

 

[Danny_]

I think you've all proved that no Morrissey fan could be his friend because we all have too many preconceived notions about what we think he's like.

From the comments here there's no way you could treat him as a normal human being because you'd be waiting for him to be the thing you've already decided he is before you've even met him.

 

[Worm]

I HEREBY DECLARE MYSELF RIGHTFULLY CHASTENED OVER MY RECKLESS AND UNFAIR PRESUMPTIONS.

Let's do dinner, Moz!

 

[Truly Truly Truly]

I have a feeling that my frequent bad language would disgust him no end; and one day I'd see him at the bus-stop bemoaning my profane and obscene expressions to Boz, before ringing me to cancel our plans to go to the zoo.

We could be pen-pals instead.

 

[SvartaSjael]

I think you've all proved that no Morrissey fan could be his friend because we all have too many preconceived notions about what we think he's like.

From the comments here there's no way you could treat him as a normal human being because you'd be waiting for him to be the thing you've already decided he is before you've even met him.

I think many of us did actually stress that they (of course) don't know what he's like..?
Apart from that, I feel tempted to 2nd your first statement of fans most likely not becoming actual friends. You can't develop a sane, mutual friendship based on one of the two parties having worshipped the other one years/decades in advance.

 

[iamkali62]

I think you've all proved that no Morrissey fan could be his friend because we all have too many preconceived notions about what we think he's like.

From the comments here there's no way you could treat him as a normal human being because you'd be waiting for him to be the thing you've already decided he is before you've even met him.

There's a little saying about never meeting your heroes and I sort of believe it's true. Best left to my "preconcieved notions" since I probably won't ever meet the man anyway. And I take umbrage with your opinion that I could never treat him like a normal human being. He's certainly different but that pic of him coming out of a bookshop a few weeks ago (does anyone have that pic) and covering his face and only staying in the shop for 12 minutes seems to me that he values his privacy which is an EXTREMELY human trait.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Or an extremely huge step.

 

[sweet and tender hooligan]

Oh i think we would get on very well discussing the Oscar Wilde and the New york dolls as we sip tea. Or at least i hope so

 

[GirlLeastLikelyTo_11]

I'd bore him shitless talking about Roy Keane all the time!

...and I'm a contrary sod who rarely answers the phone or replies to letters, so unless we were to have some sort of telepathic ability, we'd be f**cked really!

 

[Mr Smith]

I think I would make an excellent caddy.