Can men and women be friends?

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

Can men and women be friends? I mean, really good friends or best friends? Or, is it always the case that at least one will fall for the other? Is there always going to be a sexual tension there? Or not?

What can make these types of friendships successful?

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? What makes it work for you?

honestly? I think its easier for me to be friends with a woman if I don't really want to sleep with them
wait, what am I saying I am not friends with the women I sleep with, maybe in a way, I mean clearly I am friendly with them
but yeah, a lot of that is just because I want to get in their pants sorry, that's some real conversation for you
not that any of this really works for me though, I mean often after I sleep with someone I realize thats all I really was into about them
then on the other hand are the women I have become friends with and suddenly something happens and we have sex, every time this happens I am shocked
I really just thought they wanted to be friends, but no, there are women that pull that routine too
so in answer to your first question, gotta say:
I don't think so, but I hope I am wrong

 

[Anonymous]

honestly? I think its easier for me to be friends with a woman if I don't really want to sleep with them
wait, what am I saying I am not friends with the woman I sleep with, maybe in a way, I mean clearly I am friendly with them
but yeah, a lot of that is just because I want to get in their pants sorry, that's some real conversation for you
not that any of this really works for me though, I mean often after I sleep with someone I realize thats all I really was into about them
then on the other hand are the women I have become friends with and suddenly something happens and we have sex, every time this happens I am shocked
I really just thought they wanted to be friends, but no, there are women that pull that routine too
so in answer to your first question, gotta say:
I don't think so, but I hope I am wrong

Your excessive use of smileys will forever prohibit me from reading your posts. So unless you're a 14 year old teenie bopper (in which case, we'll have to make arrangements to meet), you'd do well to be rid of them. Because you want me reading your posts. I am that important.

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

Every male best friend I have had has fallen in love with me. I loved them as well, but not in a sexual or romantic way. Looking back on it now, it wasn't always because I was involved at the time, that I did not fall for them as well. They just were missing something. They made great friends though. Maybe I was too stupid or picky back then. Let go of some great guys. I think that was definitely the case. I bet they are all happily married now.

reading back now, hmm, perhaps you are using "falling in love" a little more than I would?
I mean I really don't know if I am "in love" with a woman til I've slept with them
sorry, before then its all wrapped with lust or not as the case may be, like I alluded to in my first post, really its best when women I know are unavailable or there is not much spark there
then we can be friends
however, I realize that there are likely a lot of guys out there that use the whole: "I think I am falling in love with you" thing
even before they have slept with someone
maybe I should not be so dismissive of that, but its just not my way, whatever works I guess

 

[DAVIE]

reading back now, hmm, perhaps you are using "falling in love" a little more than I would?
I mean I really don't know if I am "in love" with a woman til I've slept with them
sorry, before then its all wrapped with lust or not as the case may be, like I alluded to in my first post, really its best when women I know are unavailable or there is not much spark there
then we can be friends
however, I realize that there are likely a lot of guys out there that use the whole: "I think I am falling in love with you" thing
even before they have slept with someone
maybe I should not be so dismissive of that, but its just not my way, whatever works I guess

Well my girlfriend and I were friends from the age 10. We even had feelings for each other back then and they never went away. Through those 10 years we weren't always physically together, but I still loved her. 10 years later (this year), we started a physical relationship because we lived a lot closer and a bit more mature, but none of my feelings changed. I didn't suddenly think "oh, I love her even more because we are more physically involved with each other".

It's my opinion, but I think that if a man needs physical contact to fall in love, something is wrong.

 

[selfish and suffocating]

They can be friends as long as there are no sexual feelings.

Any sexual feelings or falling in love which is not reciprocated, then it's over.

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

Well my girlfriend and I were friends from the age 10. We even had feelings for each other back then and they never went away. Through those 10 years we weren't always physically together, but I still loved her. 10 years later (this year), we started a physical relationship because we lived a lot closer and a bit more mature, but none of my feelings changed. I didn't suddenly think "oh, I love her even more because we are more physically involved with each other".

It's my opinion, but I think that if a man needs physical contact to fall in love, something is wrong.

well, shoot man, if I suppose you are talking about some woman you have known since 10 that a different scenario then what most people are dealing with, aint it mate?
what I am speaking against is the more likely occurence of a man saying:"I love you" to a woman just so he can sleep with her
this happens all the time, likely often without the man knowing that is why I'd say most other men I know are clueless about this and confuse lust with love
I just go the other way, since my divorce and reserve my deeper feelings til after something has become "serious"
its not easy and I don't always succeed but it just better for me than pining for some woman for years and years on end
different strokes* for different folks though


*=as I write this I realize that being such a kind of man might be exactly why so many of Moz's lyrics appeal to so many men here
perhaps that is the difference between seeing them as a statement of "thats just the way it is" where as I hear them as a warning to do better....

 

[Anonymous]

Of course they can. Looking back over both my more casual friendships and close friendships, it's pretty much a 50/50 split between men and women. Then again, I've always had "progressive" views towards gender and strive to treat people exactly the same way regardless of what gender they are.