Can men and women be friends?

[realitybites]

Can men and women be friends? I mean, really good friends or best friends? Or, is it always the case that at least one will fall for the other? Is there always going to be a sexual tension there? Or not?

What can make these types of friendships successful?

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? What makes it work for you?

 

[Misguided Angel]

 

[realitybites]

^^^ Classic film scene. Do you agree with his sentiments?

 

[kissmyshadestoo]

IMHO, I think they can be friends/best friends but from my view......sexual "thoughts" will always be there.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Yes. My closest friend is a man, I can tell him anything and trust him. He's also an ATHEIST!!!!!!! Scandalous!

 

[kissmyshadestoo]

Yes. My closest friend is a man, I can tell him anything and trust him. He's also an ATHEIST!!!!!!! Scandalous!

And he would like to have sex with you.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

And he would like to have sex with you.

Not even a chance. We're comfortable together... shared hotel rooms for concerts and whatnot. It's always gentlemanly and telling me about his various other lady conquests. We're truly just friends. It's possible for men and women to be friends.

 

[realitybites]

I think when I have NOT fallen for my male friends, it was because I was involved with someone at the time. So I put this artificial barrier there. But they almost always fell for me. So the friendship was unsustainable. Maybe if we both were involved it could be possible. I honestly don't think I have ever been in that situation. If we both were single and fell for one another, then no harm done. But that seems to only happen in the movies--like When Harry Met Sally. Seems like IRL, someone always gets hurt and experiences unrequited love.

 

[Drew a swallow]

Definitely. Why not? I've had girl friends who are attractive and we've just been "friends". I think if you are "friends" and there's that barrier and you both talk about relationships and suchlike openly then I think its fine. I like the Harry and Sally axis though. There may be something in that for some people.

 

[realitybites]

Definitely. Why not? I've had girl friends who are attractive and we've just been "friends". I think if you are "friends" and there's that barrier and you both talk about relationships and suchlike openly then I think its fine. I like the Harry and Sally axis though. There may be something in that for some people.

Every male best friend I have had has fallen in love with me. I loved them as well, but not in a sexual or romantic way. Looking back on it now, it wasn't always because I was involved at the time, that I did not fall for them as well. They just were missing something. They made great friends though. Maybe I was too stupid or picky back then. Let go of some great guys. I think that was definitely the case. I bet they are all happily married now.

 

[Drew a swallow]

Every male best friend I have had has fallen in love with me. I loved them as well, but not in a sexual or romantic way. Looking back on it now, it wasn't always because I was involved at the time, that I did not fall for them as well. They just were missing something. They made great friends though. Maybe I was too stupid or picky back then. Let go of some great guys. I think that was definitely the case. I bet they are all happily married now.

Wow! You must be AMAZING then! I think it's fine to find someone attractive and take the stand off stance. I think you know when you've got a friend and it's just that - regardless of that supposed 'spark' between people.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

 

[realitybites]

Wow! You must be AMAZING then! I think it's fine to find someone attractive and take the stand off stance. I think you know when you've got a friend and it's just that - regardless of that supposed 'spark' between people.

Haha. More like a pain in the ass. I honestly did not understand how they (I have two in mind here) could be so smitten when I wasn't. Granted, both these guys were handsome, super intelligent, funny, playful. But yeah, that chemistry for me was missing. They were marriage material. And would be great fathers. Maybe they are. By all objective standards they were real catches. I think I felt invincible back then. Was not aware of how time would age me. Or how opportunities to meet such wonderful men would become more rare. Knowing what I know now, I feel like a little humility would have gone a long way. But I was so stubborn. And determined that there was something better out there. Heck, I still feel this way. It is a lifelong curse, so it seems.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't get it. Are those text messages between you and that man above?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I don't get it. Are those text messages between you and that man above?

Yes. We're friends.

 

[realitybites]

Yes. We're friends.

Cool.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Cool.

Yeah, it is pretty cool. You should try it sometime.

 

[Drew a swallow]

Haha. More like a pain in the ass. I honestly did not understand how they (I have two in mind here) could be so smitten when I wasn't. Granted, both these guys were handsome, super intelligent, funny, playful. But yeah, that chemistry for me was missing. They were marriage material. And would be great fathers. Maybe they are. By all objective standards they were real catches. I think I felt invincible back then. Was not aware of how time would age me. Or how opportunities to meet such wonderful men would become more rare. Knowing what I know now, I feel like a little humility would have gone a long way. But I was so stubborn. And determined that there was something better out there. Heck, I still feel this way. It is a lifelong curse, so it seems.

I concur with that old ideal. We all felt invincible back then. I've only just discovered that women age better than men!

 

[realitybites]

Yeah, it is pretty cool. You should try it sometime.

I make friends all the time with men. But many want to take it a step further. I mean the ones around here. Not online. Well, some of those want to be more than friends too. How do you have male friends without them wanting it to turn romantic? Even my old roommate, who started off as a friend, wanted more. I only wanted to be friends. I felt pressured after a while and uncomfortable. I moved out. Must be because they are also physically attracted to me.

Maybe your male friends don't find you attractive. (Not that some men wouldn't.) Just saying. I mean... they may have seen those unshaven legs of yours and decided they did not want to be anything more than friends. They see you as one of the guys. I am much more delicate and feminine than you. Guys see me as girlfriend material. Not a buddy. They want to f*** me. Not punch me in the arm.

- - - Updated - - -

Haha. More like a pain in the ass. I honestly did not understand how they (I have two in mind here) could be so smitten when I wasn't. Granted, both these guys were handsome, super intelligent, funny, playful. But yeah, that chemistry for me was missing. They were marriage material. And would be great fathers. Maybe they are. By all objective standards they were real catches. I think I felt invincible back then. Was not aware of how time would age me. Or how opportunities to meet such wonderful men would become more rare. Knowing what I know now, I feel like a little humility would have gone a long way. But I was so stubborn. And determined that there was something better out there. Heck, I still feel this way. It is a lifelong curse, so it seems.

I concur with that old ideal. We all felt invincible back then. I've only just discovered that women age better than men!

Why is it so often stated, just the opposite?

Why do women age better? How?

 

[Drew a swallow]

I make friends all the time with men. But many want to take it a step further. I mean the ones around here. Not online. Well, some of those want to be more than friends too. How do you have male friends without them wanting it to turn romantic? Even my old roommate, who started off as a friend, wanted more. I only wanted to be friends. I felt pressured after a while and uncomfortable. I moved out. Must be because they are also physically attracted to me.

Maybe your male friends don't find you attractive. (Not that some men wouldn't.) Just saying. I mean... they may have seen those unshaven legs of yours and decided they did not want to be anything more than friends. They see you as one of the guys. I am much more delicate and feminine than you. Guys see me as girlfriend material. Not a buddy. They want to f*** me. Not punch me in the arm.

- - - Updated - - -



Why is it so often stated, just the opposite?

Why do women age better? How?

Good question. Maybe because it's because it's ok for middle-aged women to be vain and it's not ok for middle aged-men. Too many becauses and it's?

 

[realitybites]

Good question. Maybe because it's because it's ok for middle-aged women to be vain and it's not ok for middle aged-men. Too many becauses and it's?

You mean they have access to more socially acceptable tools to make them still look good as they age? Such as hair dye and makeup? Didn't that whole metrosexual movement change things a bit though?