It's not surprising that so many people have misheard the title of the song but, in actual fact, it's a coded reassurance to his followers that his recent comments about UKIP are part of some wider plan, and he remains as committed as ever to the principle of continued European integration. Ashton is his middle name, as in Catherine Ashton, the EU vice president.
The lyrics are mainly a list of what Morrissey sees as the benefits that British people have derived from the various European institutions: the right to consensual sado-masochistic practices (such as biting letters of the alphabet into your partner's flesh); protection for undertakers from the blight of late cancellations; the ability to buy people without them knowing (although I don't think Morrissey has this one quite right); compulsory French kissing on a first date. The introduction of the Working Time Directive means literally that people can no longer waste time - you have to do your job efficiently because, once you get to 48 hours, that's it. Morrissey appears to acknowledge, though, that his unbridled enthusiasm for the European project, coupled with his near-encyclopaedic knowledge of treaties, Directives and so on (gained through "hours of fun" at the europa.eu portal site), can lead to him gabbling on without pausing for breath and completely confusing his interlocutors whenever conversation turns to the latest rulings out of Strasbourg.
It's obvious when you think about it, although I can see how the puppy theory would seem plausible to anyone not aware of the context.