The Drivel Thread

[Light Housework]

Looking at the selfie above reminds me that when K and I were meeting with my psychiatric nurse, K exclaimed “Your pupils!”, as if that were an indication that I’m psychotic. She is not my friend.

 

[Light Housework]

She just doesn’t like it when someone can see clearly, rather than be taken in by her prompts telling them what do and think.

 

[Light Housework]

“I see the world. It makes me puke, but then I look at you and know
That somewhere there's a someone who can soothe me."

 

[Light Housework]

Trying to get into the mood to paint. Maybe I will go back to bed and let the inspiration come to me if it will.

 

[Light Housework]

Where is my dancer? I want him.

 

[Light Housework]

Back to bed with me.

 

[Light Housework]

“No true friends in modern life."

 

[Light Housework]

Setting my alarm to go off in 2.5 hours, to put away my clean clothes from yesterday's 2 loads of laundry. Then I'll paint, to put myself in a positive mood.

 

[Light Housework]

I have been writing. I guess it’s more urgent than painting right now. Trying to enjoy carrot sticks with hummus, but feeling stressed.

 

[Light Housework]

Writing done. I can't show it here. Not yet. The carrot sticks and hummus are withering and I need to pee.

 

[Light Housework]

“If the USA doesn’t bomb you, I will see you, somewhere safe, looking to the camera, messing around and pulling faces."

 

[Light Housework]

Worried about retaliation from my mental health worker K, for outing her, and also about the sore on my chest that has begun to show it's metastasizing, and the guy who jabbed something into my chest creating that sore, gets away with it to do it to someone else.

 

[Light Housework]

The writing being over with, I will try again to get around to painting. I’ll make some peppermint tea, chill for a while maybe writing in my paper journal, and hopefully make it to have a painting session while listening to my favourite Morrissey concert once again, soon. I won’t say more, for the time being. It isn’t the right time.

 

[Light Housework]

me singing Saint In A Stained Glass Window

 

[Light Housework]

"He took the blast. His very last."

 

[Light Housework]

Christ I’m lonesome tonight, but I’m glad to be alive, despite quite a number of things not going my way, and knowing that everywhere I look people are consuming animals without any hesitation before the fact or remorse after the fact. As if it were eating fruit naturally dropping from trees. Such is life as I know it. I used to be one of the madding crowd feeding on poor animals. I was a fiend.

 

[Light Housework]

Just woke up from another nap and have Tell It Like It Is in my head again. Right eye stinging. Going to write morning pages and then paint. Something like that. Glad to be alive.

 

[Light Housework]

Wrote morning pages and think I'm going to take a bath before I paint.

 

[Light Housework]

Proudly wearing my Morrissey t-shirt after a bath.

 

[Light Housework]

If anything happens to me, my conscience is clear. I’m going to take a nap now.