C
Cinderella
Guest
Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
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B
bubba
Guest
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
Well.
There is a monastery. The vows are hard. No one is allowed to speak. Only once every 10 (ten) years, the monks are allowed to speak ... TWO words.
One of the monks, ten years after he entered, is invited by the master to speak up. He says "Bed Hard".
Another ten years pass. The same monk is invited again, and breaks the silence with the following words: "Food Disgusting".
Yet again, ten years have passed. The master invites the same monk to tell him his most pressing two words. The monk says " I quit".
No wonder, thinks the master, he never stopped complaining.
does this help?
Well.
There is a monastery. The vows are hard. No one is allowed to speak. Only once every 10 (ten) years, the monks are allowed to speak ... TWO words.
One of the monks, ten years after he entered, is invited by the master to speak up. He says "Bed Hard".
Another ten years pass. The same monk is invited again, and breaks the silence with the following words: "Food Disgusting".
Yet again, ten years have passed. The master invites the same monk to tell him his most pressing two words. The monk says " I quit".
No wonder, thinks the master, he never stopped complaining.
does this help?
C
Cinderella
Guest
Re: Oh come on!
Somebody must have done something worth telling...like this one time a few years back, I accidentally pinched a cadbury's cream egg from woolworths. I still go all woozy at the mere thought of myself, albeit accidentaly, living life on the racy side, if only for a short time.
Somebody must have done something worth telling...like this one time a few years back, I accidentally pinched a cadbury's cream egg from woolworths. I still go all woozy at the mere thought of myself, albeit accidentaly, living life on the racy side, if only for a short time.
M
Mimi
Guest
Re: Oh come on!
Have you not read my email yet? Now if that isn't entertaining, then what is???? And I haven't even splashed out on all the details.... if I did that I'm sure I'd make you believe you lead an easy life.
I'm just a pathetic fly. Somebody please squash me.
Have you not read my email yet? Now if that isn't entertaining, then what is???? And I haven't even splashed out on all the details.... if I did that I'm sure I'd make you believe you lead an easy life.
I'm just a pathetic fly. Somebody please squash me.
C
Cinderella
Guest
Re: Oh come on!
Yes, and I've replied! But you see my appetite seems to be somewhat insatiable!
And my capacity for regalia (SS) oh my, oh uniforms, oh dear, I've gone...
Yes, and I've replied! But you see my appetite seems to be somewhat insatiable!
And my capacity for regalia (SS) oh my, oh uniforms, oh dear, I've gone...
M
Mimi
Guest
Re: Oh come on!
> Yes, and I've replied! But you see my appetite seems to be
> somewhat insatiable!
> And my capacity for regalia (SS) oh my, oh uniforms, oh dear,
> I've gone...
You should watch more television, it's no good staying on a Buffy diet.... I admit it might not be educating or even thoughtful but it's unbeaten for entertainment value.
> Yes, and I've replied! But you see my appetite seems to be
> somewhat insatiable!
> And my capacity for regalia (SS) oh my, oh uniforms, oh dear,
> I've gone...
You should watch more television, it's no good staying on a Buffy diet.... I admit it might not be educating or even thoughtful but it's unbeaten for entertainment value.
P
punchdrunkGB
Guest
I really need to be entertained/ 100% GENUINE TALE
ONE OF MY MATES WENT ON A BUTLINS COMEDY WEEK AND MET THE BEST LOOKING GIRL EVER HE RECKONS!! CLICKED WITH HER.
WENT BACK TO HER ROOM FOR A BIT OF HOWS YER FATHER AND OUTSIDE HER ROOM AS SHE HAD HER KEY IN THE DOOR THE FOLLOWING HAPPENED.
BOTH KISSING REALLY GOING FOR IT
WHEN OOPPPPPPPPPPPPSS
danny pulls away "eem your bleeding"
really fit girl "no its you YOU SEEM TO HAVE A NOSE BLEED"
danny as he surveys her blood spattered face and top "eerr right"
really fit girl "i am tired now and wanna get to bed!! BYE!"
ITS 2 YEARS SINCE IT HAPPENED BUT DANNY NEVER STOPS ON ABOUT HOW UNLUCKY HE WAS.HE SAYS SHE WAS SO NICE HIS BRAIN COULD NOT COPE.
HOPE THAT MAKES YOU SMILE ANYWAY!!
ONE OF MY MATES WENT ON A BUTLINS COMEDY WEEK AND MET THE BEST LOOKING GIRL EVER HE RECKONS!! CLICKED WITH HER.
WENT BACK TO HER ROOM FOR A BIT OF HOWS YER FATHER AND OUTSIDE HER ROOM AS SHE HAD HER KEY IN THE DOOR THE FOLLOWING HAPPENED.
BOTH KISSING REALLY GOING FOR IT
WHEN OOPPPPPPPPPPPPSS
danny pulls away "eem your bleeding"
really fit girl "no its you YOU SEEM TO HAVE A NOSE BLEED"
danny as he surveys her blood spattered face and top "eerr right"
really fit girl "i am tired now and wanna get to bed!! BYE!"
ITS 2 YEARS SINCE IT HAPPENED BUT DANNY NEVER STOPS ON ABOUT HOW UNLUCKY HE WAS.HE SAYS SHE WAS SO NICE HIS BRAIN COULD NOT COPE.
HOPE THAT MAKES YOU SMILE ANYWAY!!
C
Cinderella
Guest
Re: That's odd?!
> ITS 2 YEARS SINCE IT HAPPENED BUT DANNY NEVER STOPS ON ABOUT HOW
> UNLUCKY HE WAS.HE SAYS SHE WAS SO NICE HIS BRAIN COULD NOT COPE.
I thought when men were in that kinda state that the brain is not the organ incharge as it were?! ; )
> ITS 2 YEARS SINCE IT HAPPENED BUT DANNY NEVER STOPS ON ABOUT HOW
> UNLUCKY HE WAS.HE SAYS SHE WAS SO NICE HIS BRAIN COULD NOT COPE.
I thought when men were in that kinda state that the brain is not the organ incharge as it were?! ; )
P
punchdrunkGB
Guest
i a am a story teller and my stories must be told
and there was the time i met a nice looking girl who seemed ok until i went back to her place.
SHE WAS GREAT UNTIL SHE GOT PISSED THEN THINGS STARTED TO GET WEIRD!!
A lovely spot in birmingham (yes there is some) and we chatted had a laugh a then as things started to heat up SHE BIT MY EAR!!!!
NOT A LITTLE PLAYFULL NIP!! I MEAN SHE TRIED TO TAKE MY @#!!!ING EAR OFF!!!
I SCREAMED OUT IN PAIN!!! AND SHE LAUGHED AND TRIED TO KISS ME.
and we have been going out now for 5 years (joke)
I RANG A TAXI!!! HUMOURED HER AND LEGGED IT OUT OF HER PLACE LIKE A MIKE TYSON ON ANOTHER RAPE CHARGE.
THEN THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME ....................zzzz
"I AM A STORY TELLER AND MY STORIES MUST BE TOLD"
> I thought when men were in that kinda state that the brain is
> not the organ incharge as it were?! ; )
and there was the time i met a nice looking girl who seemed ok until i went back to her place.
SHE WAS GREAT UNTIL SHE GOT PISSED THEN THINGS STARTED TO GET WEIRD!!
A lovely spot in birmingham (yes there is some) and we chatted had a laugh a then as things started to heat up SHE BIT MY EAR!!!!
NOT A LITTLE PLAYFULL NIP!! I MEAN SHE TRIED TO TAKE MY @#!!!ING EAR OFF!!!
I SCREAMED OUT IN PAIN!!! AND SHE LAUGHED AND TRIED TO KISS ME.
and we have been going out now for 5 years (joke)
I RANG A TAXI!!! HUMOURED HER AND LEGGED IT OUT OF HER PLACE LIKE A MIKE TYSON ON ANOTHER RAPE CHARGE.
THEN THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME ....................zzzz
"I AM A STORY TELLER AND MY STORIES MUST BE TOLD"
> I thought when men were in that kinda state that the brain is
> not the organ incharge as it were?! ; )
G
greasetea
Guest
Re: You need something else Sinderella
I jizzed all over my roommates teddy bears. You know Aaron doncha? You know what he'll do when he finds out I ejaculated all ove them doncha?
well doncha?
I jizzed all over my roommates teddy bears. You know Aaron doncha? You know what he'll do when he finds out I ejaculated all ove them doncha?
well doncha?
S
somnium
Guest
Re: just give it to me...
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
Oh boy!!!!!!!... a new chapter for a loser writer...ME.
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
Oh boy!!!!!!!... a new chapter for a loser writer...ME.
S
somnium
Guest
Re: She really did it???
> A lovely spot in birmingham (yes there is some) and we chatted
> had a laugh a then as things started to heat up SHE BIT MY
> EAR!!!!
> NOT A LITTLE PLAYFULL NIP!! I MEAN SHE TRIED TO TAKE MY @#!!!
> ING EAR OFF!!!
Oh sorry, but I can't help myself. Guy, this is funny. But tell us the true..... Do you still have that ear?????? Oh, God....I hope you have.
> A lovely spot in birmingham (yes there is some) and we chatted
> had a laugh a then as things started to heat up SHE BIT MY
> EAR!!!!
> NOT A LITTLE PLAYFULL NIP!! I MEAN SHE TRIED TO TAKE MY @#!!!
> ING EAR OFF!!!
Oh sorry, but I can't help myself. Guy, this is funny. But tell us the true..... Do you still have that ear?????? Oh, God....I hope you have.
S
somnium
Guest
Re: ok, so...
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
Me and my cousin once, went to the local cemetry, at midnight, with a recorder tape, cause we wanted to record the sound from the spirits. Well, I smoked my filter, and we were just talking like fools, above a grave.
-Oh, look at this picture!!! He was so handsome!!! What a wonderful hair.
And I said:
-Well, dear... lets open this grave and take a look on his hair.
We laughed, but she was scared.
Suddenly, we started to hear a terrible sound wich came from the grave.
Things like: HMMMMMMM, OOOOHHHHHH....AH, AH, AAAAAAAHH...
And I said:
-It's the spirit!!! let's record it.
-Noooo, I don't want to do it anymore.
She went away, and I was there, alone, listening those strange shouts!!!!!!!!
I just kept myself far away, looking everything. A naked beautiful woman came up, and a gorgeous brunet male too.
And I thought: "SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRITS"...
The woman said:
-Ten dollars, ok?
And the male:
-What????? Are you joeking? It was so fast, and I didn't enjoy as much as I want.
And she:
-But you promised a nice motel. Could you call it a nice motel...JERK???
-I like graves... That's my fantasy.
I was very disapointed, but shoked. I took their clothes near the grave and ran away, laughing.
And the supposed spirits started to shout:
-Get back, you're son of a bitch.
And the man:
-How will I explain it to my wife?????? Please, boy, PLLLLLEEAASE!!!!!!!
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
Me and my cousin once, went to the local cemetry, at midnight, with a recorder tape, cause we wanted to record the sound from the spirits. Well, I smoked my filter, and we were just talking like fools, above a grave.
-Oh, look at this picture!!! He was so handsome!!! What a wonderful hair.
And I said:
-Well, dear... lets open this grave and take a look on his hair.
We laughed, but she was scared.
Suddenly, we started to hear a terrible sound wich came from the grave.
Things like: HMMMMMMM, OOOOHHHHHH....AH, AH, AAAAAAAHH...
And I said:
-It's the spirit!!! let's record it.
-Noooo, I don't want to do it anymore.
She went away, and I was there, alone, listening those strange shouts!!!!!!!!
I just kept myself far away, looking everything. A naked beautiful woman came up, and a gorgeous brunet male too.
And I thought: "SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRITS"...
The woman said:
-Ten dollars, ok?
And the male:
-What????? Are you joeking? It was so fast, and I didn't enjoy as much as I want.
And she:
-But you promised a nice motel. Could you call it a nice motel...JERK???
-I like graves... That's my fantasy.
I was very disapointed, but shoked. I took their clothes near the grave and ran away, laughing.
And the supposed spirits started to shout:
-Get back, you're son of a bitch.
And the man:
-How will I explain it to my wife?????? Please, boy, PLLLLLEEAASE!!!!!!!
G
greasetea
Guest
well that WOULD have been a good story if you could write in English you moron!
actually Mr. me no Spaekiee Englosh so well good", it still wpould have sucked. Thanks for wasting our lives you bag of tit milk.
Greasetea, believe it.............or not you racist, xenophobic, narrow minded slapneck.
actually Mr. me no Spaekiee Englosh so well good", it still wpould have sucked. Thanks for wasting our lives you bag of tit milk.
Greasetea, believe it.............or not you racist, xenophobic, narrow minded slapneck.
P
punchdrunkGB
Guest
Re: She really did it???
yes my ear was OK!!! after a day or so!!
I was rather angry in the taxi on the way home ;0) but i dont hold grudges when ever i see her know we laugh and i call her mike tyson!!
I have more mad tales from my LOVE LIFE!! she is not the only nutter bird i have met
> Oh sorry, but I can't help myself. Guy, this is funny. But tell
> us the true..... Do you still have that ear?????? Oh, God....I
> hope you have.
yes my ear was OK!!! after a day or so!!
I was rather angry in the taxi on the way home ;0) but i dont hold grudges when ever i see her know we laugh and i call her mike tyson!!
I have more mad tales from my LOVE LIFE!! she is not the only nutter bird i have met
> Oh sorry, but I can't help myself. Guy, this is funny. But tell
> us the true..... Do you still have that ear?????? Oh, God....I
> hope you have.
A
Auntie T.
Guest
True story... submitted for your approval...
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
On the day after my first child's birth... we were leaving the hospital together... my spouse, baby, and I... when in the elevator on the way down we met a man of small stature with a hint of an Irish accent...which is a little unusual in our community in the states... anyway... he seems to be enamoured with the baby and said "May God's voice be the song in his heart and the angels dance on his shoulders"... I thanked him for what I took to be an Irish blessing of some sort... although I'm not familiar with it... Well I went back to cooing over my beautiful boy and didn't think any more about the man... until the elevator stopped at the bottom floor and as we exited the elevator... the man wasn't there. We were a little spooked at that point ... but now I think of the man as my son's guardian angel.
> Could you not regale me with interesting tales?
On the day after my first child's birth... we were leaving the hospital together... my spouse, baby, and I... when in the elevator on the way down we met a man of small stature with a hint of an Irish accent...which is a little unusual in our community in the states... anyway... he seems to be enamoured with the baby and said "May God's voice be the song in his heart and the angels dance on his shoulders"... I thanked him for what I took to be an Irish blessing of some sort... although I'm not familiar with it... Well I went back to cooing over my beautiful boy and didn't think any more about the man... until the elevator stopped at the bottom floor and as we exited the elevator... the man wasn't there. We were a little spooked at that point ... but now I think of the man as my son's guardian angel.
S
somnium
Guest
Ok, sissy, but first YOU should learn your own language
You're gonna die.........DIE......
You're gonna die.........DIE......
S
somnium
Guest
Re: True story... submitted for your approval...
> On the day after my first child's birth... we were leaving the
> hospital together... my spouse, baby, and I... when in the
> elevator on the way down we met a man of small stature with a
> hint of an Irish accent...which is a little unusual in our
> community in the states... anyway... he seems to be enamoured
> with the baby and said "May God's voice be the song in his
> heart and the angels dance on his shoulders"... I thanked
> him for what I took to be an Irish blessing of some sort...
> although I'm not familiar with it... Well I went back to cooing
> over my beautiful boy and didn't think any more about the man...
> until the elevator stopped at the bottom floor and as we exited
> the elevator... the man wasn't there. We were a little spooked
> at that point ... but now I think of the man as my son's
> guardian angel.
Do you believe in ufos and aliens?
> On the day after my first child's birth... we were leaving the
> hospital together... my spouse, baby, and I... when in the
> elevator on the way down we met a man of small stature with a
> hint of an Irish accent...which is a little unusual in our
> community in the states... anyway... he seems to be enamoured
> with the baby and said "May God's voice be the song in his
> heart and the angels dance on his shoulders"... I thanked
> him for what I took to be an Irish blessing of some sort...
> although I'm not familiar with it... Well I went back to cooing
> over my beautiful boy and didn't think any more about the man...
> until the elevator stopped at the bottom floor and as we exited
> the elevator... the man wasn't there. We were a little spooked
> at that point ... but now I think of the man as my son's
> guardian angel.
Do you believe in ufos and aliens?
A
Auntie T.
Guest
Re: True story... submitted for your approval...
> Do you believe in ufos and aliens?
I can't say that I feel strongly one way or another... I've never had a close encounter or anything like that! But I'm not sure what that has to do with my story...?
> Do you believe in ufos and aliens?
I can't say that I feel strongly one way or another... I've never had a close encounter or anything like that! But I'm not sure what that has to do with my story...?
A
Auntie T.
Guest
This doesn't sound like the real Somnium...
> You're gonna die.........DIE......
Don't let Greasetea get to you! Maintain your dignity and ignore those who post only to irritate!
> You're gonna die.........DIE......
Don't let Greasetea get to you! Maintain your dignity and ignore those who post only to irritate!
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