The man who Morrissey loved...

[Dave]

I don't see why the guy is supposed to know about Morrissey's book. He's not a fan, according to the story. I do think, if this story is true, that the guy was having a laugh, but there's really no way to say. Skepticism is good, but being convinced one way or another is highly illogical.

 

[international playboy]

I didn't ask him what it said in the love letters...
I expect i will see 'Andy' again soon.
I remember something more about the guy. On the way back from Wigan; the coach stopped at a services station. Me and Andy were queing up for something to eat. We were just talking casually about where we lived. He lived in Worcestershire. While we were queing up about half a dozen of these school girls came in. They were about my age - 17 or 18. They had been playing hockey i think.
As soon as the girls came in Andy went up to them straight away. Obviosuly he was flirting with them, but for me it was a little uncomfortable. Andy was about twice their age. He wasn't being smutty or sleezy, but just ridiculously charming. He really had these girls in awe of him. They only left us because their teachers made them. It was a little bit creepy....
Well the new football season is started in a few months, so i imagine i will see Andy again. I really want to ask him some questions.
I know it is very easy to dismiss him and say he is talking absolute bollocks - he probably is. But like i said, he was very convincing and i will have to meet him again to definately make up my mind

 

[Musley]

Some Manc lads in a nightclub in Manchester told me Morrissey has a child in Manchester and it's common knowledge there. I'm not from Manchester so would be less likely to know if it was true or not. People can, without having to prove it, say anything about Morrissey. I think he was probably winding you up, the same as they were about the child.

 

[Not Right in the Head]

Some Manc lads in a nightclub in Manchester told me Morrissey has a child in Manchester and it's common knowledge there. I'm not from Manchester so would be less likely to know if it was true or not. People can, without having to prove it, say anything about Morrissey. I think he was probably winding you up, the same as they were about the child.

Pshaw. That's about as unlikely as Clay Aiken fathering a child.

 

[Corrissey]

Pshaw. That's about as unlikely as Clay Aiken fathering a child.

I was wondering when we were gonna talk about that It's got that whole Michael Jackson and whats-her-face feel to it Bizarre

 

[Not Right in the Head]

I was wondering when we were gonna talk about that It's got that whole Michael Jackson and whats-her-face feel to it Bizarre

But the "woman"'s name is "Jaymes." Uh, huh.

And she's 50. WTF?

 

[MadameChaos]

Some people just like to make stuff up about themselves to impress people. Sad but true.

 

[dunya]

Absence of facts- make up a story. I heard several interesting pieces of common knowledge when I lived up there, but none ever proven and not wanting to put money into lawyers' pockets, won't repeat any here

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

I bet half of Greater Manchester have stories like that.

 

[Morrisseyfan08]

The way forummers talk about people in Manchester you would think it had a population of a hundred...I dont know any secret facts about singers in Dublin..It just seems bizarre to me.

 

[meat_is_murder19]

Could be true.How old was the man.

 

[oscillate wildly]

Morrissey writes me poems on postcards sometimes.

I don't pay much attention to them.

 

[mauve21]

It's just like when the other day I was driving and I saw Johnny Marr
and Brett Anderson in a red Porsche on the freeway,
shit I thought how bizarre and I tooted them.
And I live in Melbourne, Australia.
Andy on the bus, love letter from Mr. Morrissey......
yes we can all live in a dream world can't we now?

 

[Worm]

Pshaw. That's about as unlikely as Clay Aiken fathering a child.

Well, you know how the old saying goes. "Just because you take a quick break from your career as a sexually unassigned prepubescent pixie to artificially inseminate a middle-aged woman named Jaymes doesn't make you a father."

Or something like that.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Well, you know how the old saying goes. "Just because you take a quick break from your career as a sexually unassigned prepubescent pixie to artificially inseminate a middle-aged woman named Jaymes doesn't make you a father."

Or something like that.

Hilarious!

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I have these visions of "Clay Mating" into a jar I really want banished from my head.

 

[oscillate wildly]

the remaining Clay Mates are probably jealous that Clay didn't choose them to artificially inseminate.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

I have these visions of "Clay Mating" into a jar I really want banished from my head.

Me too, now. Thanks.

"Clay-mation" ick.

 

[Worm]

I have these visions of "Clay Mating" into a jar I really want banished from my head.

Muhahahaha. I'm sure he had to be hypnotized and coaxed into it by a patient nurse.

Nurse: No-- Clay? Clay? Hold the jar still, honey.

Hypnotized Clay: Wheeeeeeeee!

Nurse: Clay, talk to me. Are you still riding the fancy pink pony?

Hypnotized Clay: Oh yes, yes! Tee hee. He's a spirited one! Oh, I can barely hang on, you silly thing.

Nurse: Just keep your grip. Now Clay--

Hypnotized Clay: Wheeeeeeeeeee! We're up in the clouds now!

Nurse: Good, sweetie. Are you almost ready to make the fairy milk?

Hypnotized Clay: Hee hee hee-- faster, fancy pink pony! Faster!

Nurse: I spent six months in night school for this shit?​

 

[Dow Jones]

Muhahahaha. I'm sure he had to be hypnotized and coaxed into it by a patient nurse.

Nurse: No-- Clay? Clay? Hold the jar still, honey.

Hypnotized Clay: Wheeeeeeeee!

Nurse: Clay, talk to me. Are you still riding the fancy pink pony?

Hypnotized Clay: Oh yes, yes! Tee hee. He's a spirited one! Oh, I can barely hang on, you silly thing.

Nurse: Just keep your grip. Now Clay--

Hypnotized Clay: Wheeeeeeeeeee! We're up in the clouds now!

Nurse: Good, sweetie. Are you almost ready to make the fairy milk?

Hypnotized Clay: Hee hee hee-- faster, fancy pink pony! Faster!

Nurse: I spent six months in night school for this shit?​

....Ew, subtle bestiality.