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"Bad Names For Professional Wrestlers" - McSweeney's
Posted on Fri, Nov 5 1999 at 9:17 a.m. PST
by David T. <[email protected]>
From Jeremy Eric Tenenbaum:

Timothy McSweeny's Internet Tendency (a compendium of black-words-on-a-white-screen tidbits, with irony so dry as to make "Seinfeld" seem like candystriped vaudeville) lists Morrissey at the tail end of a list of Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers.

And from Peter Lynn:

Our man Steven Patrick is mentioned at the end of an article on "Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers" by the always-bizarre quarterly magazine McSweeney's...

(Strangely, this parallels a cartoon about "Odd Couple" roommates I drew a couple of years ago which included both Morrissey and Butch, the greatest scientific wrestler of all time. Odd.)

B A D   N A M E S
F O R
P R O F E S S I O N A L   W R E S T L E R S .

BY JEFF JOHNSON
- - - -

Linus
The Spiller
Lace
The Soup-Eater
Stilts
The Tailor
Mitochondria
Kimono Boy
The Really Tiny Moth
The Bulimic Cheerleader
Winston Churchill
Vasco de Gama, Jr.
Tickles
The Fig Wasp
Cookies -n- Creme (tag team duo)
The Healer
El Wusso
The Precocious Feline
The Professor
Balsamic Vinegar
The Stooge
Diabetes
Warren G. Harding
The Wilting Zinnia
The School Boy
The Yearling
The Pediatrician
The Old Coward
Naomi
The Narcoleptic
Magic Realism

More Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers
(added 1:34 pm Wednesday)

The Vegan
The Lonely Marine
Grace Kelly
Peter Billingsley
Swimmer's Itch
The Orderly
Smarty Pants
Babette
Jivamukti
Paul McCartney
The Shlub
The Shrill Housewife
The Truant Officer
The Dartmouth Grad Student
The Keokuk Optometrist
The Whispering Mime
Aaron Copeland
The Impressionist
The Phonics Expert
Nancy Walker
Hospice Boy
Noel Coward
Frondeur
The Demimonde
The Victim
The Tattletale
Truffle
Victor Kiam
The Poet Laureate
Mrs. Grundy
Burt Hooton
The Pawn
Dale
The Little Ragu
Morrissey

* item archived - comments / notes can no longer be added.

Comments / Notes



Oh, but Brutus Beefcake and The Nature boy
are good names??

Tank
Orlando Florida - Fri, Nov 05, 1999 at 09:43:03 (PST) | #1




Gosh, that is ALMOST funny.

squink
- Fri, Nov 05, 1999 at 13:28:56 (PST) | #2




oh i get it...like said before, almost funny

morrissey as a wrestler, now that would be funny: morrissey vs. stone cold steve austin. moz's signature move would perhaps be the flower choke.

Mozcowboy <[email protected]>
Long Beach - Sat, Nov 06, 1999 at 13:16:08 (PST) | #3




hehehe ok I think the best wrestling match would be Morrissey vs. Mankind aka LOVE DUDE! or even better Robert LiPstick Smith! hehehehe that would kick ASS!

GIRL POWER and MORRISSEY POWER!

Anna Serrano aka Ginger <[email protected]>
El Paso, Texas aka El Hell Hole - Sat, Nov 06, 1999 at 13:21:24 (PST) | #4




What about Morrissey versus Poofter Daddy? I mean, Puff Daddy?

Someone who should just get a life
- Sat, Nov 06, 1999 at 20:16:21 (PST) | #5




lol you mean POOP Daddy! hehehe that would rock! But I would really love to see Morrissey and Mr. Marr fight. Or Morrissey with Mr. Marr vs. Liam and Noel G. of Oasis( you know those two from that crappy band that tries to be like the beatles and that kind of look like Burt and Ernie of Seasame Street)! Ahhh heck that would be grand!

Anna Serrano aka Ginger <[email protected]>
El Paso, Texas aka El Hell Hole - Sun, Nov 07, 1999 at 00:34:18 (PST) | #6




Morrissey versus poop daddy, yes, him too. He could probably restrain him with only two fingers!

Ellyn
Washington state - Sun, Nov 07, 1999 at 02:01:31 (PST) | #7




How about Morrissey vs. Al Snow? Damn, who is more mentally disturbed???? Could you picture our man Mozz as a hardcore wrestler? FINISHING MOVE: CANCELLING THE MATCH AND LEAVING! Or perhaps he could tag-team with Snow against Big Boss Man for what he did to poor Pepper. That would get Morrissey's bull running, animal cruelty. And of course, finally, the CATCH PHRASE: What does everybody want?.......... I don't know how to finish that. How disturbing.

Take it easy people, and remember.. A Mozz song a day keeps the Happiness away.

DeBbie <[email protected]>
Canada, baby, yeah! - Sun, Nov 07, 1999 at 12:04:12 (PST) | #8




Who the heck is Al Snow?

Sweet Girl <[email protected]>
- Sun, Nov 07, 1999 at 12:47:04 (PST) | #9




If you're not a REAL wrestling fan, then you WOULDN'T know Al Snow, and most of what I wrote. Too bad. Wrestling is very amusing.

DeBbie <[email protected]>
Canada, baby, yeah! - Mon, Nov 08, 1999 at 20:38:30 (PST) | #10




Al Snow is F*cked up dude! But hey he and Morrissey would be an excellent fight!

Anna Serrano aka Ginger <[email protected]>
El Paso, Texas aka El Hell Hole - Fri, Nov 12, 1999 at 16:09:58 (PST) | #11




The Rock says he will kick Moz's roody poo candy ass so hard his trousers will drop to the world.

Ron Swing
- Fri, Nov 19, 1999 at 17:44:23 (PST) | #12




Yeah well Morrissey can kick the crap out The Rock! Then THE ROCK would be all like please don't hurt me Mr. Morrissey I'm too young to die!
Then Morrissey would probally sing a song and then The Rock and him would be the best of mates!
See the moral of the story is well there really isn't any but have a little Morrissey Power* you can win anything!

* I don't know about the Lotto or Bingo or any kind of Casino games!

Well Bye Bye!

Anna

Anna Serrano aka Ginger <[email protected]>
El Paso, Texas aka El Hell Hole - Sat, Nov 20, 1999 at 09:30:28 (PST) | #13






* return to Morrissey-solo