More_C writes:
I was thumbing through the magazine at a convenience store and came across this interview piece. Enjoy!
______________
Maxim
Rated: 24 Hours To Live
Morrissey
The famously forlorn British crooner and ex-Smiths frontman muses on his last day on Earth.
SO HOW DO YOU WANT TO GO? DOUBLE-DECKER BUS? TEN-TON TRUCK?
Concussed by a coconut.
WHICH OF YOUR SONGS PLAYS IN HEAVEN?
"Satan Rejected My Soul."
AND WHICH ONE PLAYS IN HELL?
"I Have Forgiven Jesus."
WHAT BOOK DO YOU REGRET NOT FINISHING?
"The Toilets Are Closed in Your Honour," an account of the life of Cressida Dick, deputy assistant commissioner of London's Metropolitan Police.
WHILE ALIVE, WHAT DID YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR MONEY ON?
Legal fees.
WHO IN YOUR LIFE WOULD YOU MOST LIKED TO "KICK IN THE EYE"?
That meat-fed horror Jamie "Orrible" Oliver. If he's a master chef, then I'm Miss Brazil 1970.
WHAT WILL BE YOUR GREATEST LEGACY?
Thundering suavity.
ANY REGRETS ABOUT BEING OUTSPOKEN?
Whatever I said, I meant.
WHEN WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
At age 12 I could juggle a plate on a stick.
NAME ONE THING YOU'RE GLAD YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO DO AGAIN ON EARTH.
It will be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham.
WHAT'S THE WILDEST THING YOU EVER DID WHILE YOU WERE ALIVE?
I took some swimming lessons at the local baths.
WHAT'S YOUR LAST MEAL?
The disease of smallness--tea and toast.
DO YOU HAVE A DEATHBED CONFESSION?
I've never seen myself naked. It seemed impolite to look.
TO WHOM WOULD YOU WHISPER YOUR LAST GOODBYE?
To my very best friend...myself.
---
Also posted in the forums in
this thread. Scan by Claudia2006:
Ha! (Score:0)
keep me in mind (Score:0)
Perfect. (Score:1)
(User #14740 Info)
great one-liners (Score:2, Interesting)
(User #1665 Info | http://www.cherryplucker.com/)
Re:great one-liners (Score:2, Insightful)
(User #18717 Info)
Parent
xoxo (Score:0)
So much for that boycott of Canada..... (Score:0)
How long does he get to answer those things? (Score:1)
(User #6984 Info)
Re:How long does he get to answer those things? (Score:2, Insightful)
These would of been fax most definitely
Parent
Brilliant (Score:1)
(User #14232 Info)
Coconut violence (Score:2, Funny)
(User #80 Info)
Love it! (Score:0)
(User #20608 Info)
I live in Canada and picked up the magazine (Score:0)
Very entertaining. (Score:0)
Brilliant answers (Score:1)
(User #21525 Info)
quite simply Morrissey's wittiest 'interview' (Score:0)
let's hope this filters through to the lyrics pretty soon. I really miss the humour...
and if you must go to work tomorrow (Score:0)
Amuse-bouche (Score:2, Funny)
Interviews which, by their indelicate candour and wanton disregard for modern conversational etiquette, will shake the very foundations of bourgeois convention.
Or maybe not.
(User #11602 Info)
Not bothered about the interview... (Score:1)
Hmmm. Meeting Morrissey in front of the gravestones... dressed in black... All my Moz/Buffy the Vampire Slayer fantasies have finally been given some ammunition!
I'm kidding... I don't ever think about Moz in a kind of sexy cool Vampire way.
But I might now...
Mmmmmm.
(User #17786 Info | http://twitter.com/#!/Kitty3780)
Ugh. (Score:0, Troll)
And after all this time.... (Score:0)
Sheridan
Remarkable (Score:2, Interesting)
the Victoria stab was hilarious
Morrissey's dark humour is just irreplaceable. 3
(User #18985 Info)
old photo (Score:1, Informative)
It was taken by Hamish Brown for the NME's Morrissey comeback interview when Quarry was released, around April 2004. They'll have probably bought if off an agency and did the graveyard montage themselves (if you look at picture credits up the side).
"To my very best friend...myself" (Score:1)
"in the midst of life we are in debt etc."
(User #12729 Info)
Saying goodbye to myself (Score:0)
Hmmm! (Score:0)
Cheers to the great Mozza!
What a fucking hypocrite!!!! (Score:0)
I guess Morrissey doesn't care about animals as much as he does money or his fame.
Asshole.
Re:They club baby seals in Canada (Score:3, Funny)
Either you are the most annoying girl on here or you are in fact Morrissey himself.
Parent
Re:They club baby seals in Canada (Score:1)
(User #21738 Info)
Parent